I've been a mess...

... the last couple of days. I think the sleep deprivation from Toby's cough was really getting to me. Yesterday I was convinced that I was developing prenatal depression and then, after a good night's sleep last night, I woke up this morning feeling so well that I was convinced that something was wrong with the pregnancy. I must be so much fun to live with right now.

I'm still very nervous about this pregnancy and just hoping that it's all going well. I think the anxiety is what brought on the fears of depression and then I jump at every possible sign of a miscarriage, not that I've had many. I'm just about to the point where the morning sickness starts to lessen so it's probably natural that I feel better. It's just that with the first one we lost I knew something was wrong because I felt so well. I woke up one morning and felt so fresh and well-rested that I just knew I wasn't pregnant anymore. And I wasn't. Scares me to death just thinking that could happen again.

I think I'll buy another pregnancy test today just to prove to myself that I'm still pregnant. I've done seventeen tests so far! But they were all over a month ago when I was trying to convince myself that I was pregnant in the first place. Insanity must be a symptom of pregnancy because I seem to go mad every time.