So tired
Saw an ad today for one of those electric ride-on chairs they make for elderly people and was very tempted to order one. I'm so tired all the time but there's so much I want to do. Tobes and went out to Bluewater today and within half an hour I was using the stroller like a zimmer frame, schlepping through the mall. I'm yawning now as I type and it's 5.15pm!
I guess with Tobes I could sleep when I was tired so when I was awake I had more energy. Toby determines my waking and sleeping now so it's very different. Thank goodness J is coming home early tonight. He can bathe Tobes and throw something together for dinner. He might even need to pry open my mouth and wiggle it up and down for me because I'm not sure I'll have the energy to chew. But I'll definitely want to eat!
I'm so glad I have J and I'm so glad that he's as sweet as he is. My own mother often feels sorry for J because he has to live with me. A few summers ago we had record highs in England. Imagine 100 degrees with no air conditioning. I was miserable and I remember talking to Mom on the phone and telling her how unbearable it was. She said, 'Oh baby..... I feel sorry for J having to put up with you in that heat.'
Well, I do agree that he can be very kind. We've been fairly lucky this pregnancy though. My insanity and irrationality has been at a minimum. With Tobes I was shouting one minute and laughing the next then bursting into tears. I was also convinced that our next door neighbor was a serial killer... but that's another story. Well, our luck ran out a few nights ago and I had a 'spell'. I've been desperately trying to settle on a list of possible names for the baby and it's driving me crazy. So many of our choices are seen as very strange or just plain ugly. I decided that because I couldn't come up with any suitable names it meant that I was a bad mother and that I would never love this baby as much as I loved Toby... because we chose his name quite easily.
Now, in the calm light of day I can see that the ability to name a child is not necessarily a reflection of the love, or lack of it, felt for that child. I could not see that the other night and proceeded to cry my eyes out with snot streaming, hiccups and all. I think I must've had a new batch of hormones because I was brought to tears the following day by an episode of Home Improvement.
Now, I'm just very, very tired. I've started having Braxton Hicks contractions which seems a little early to me. I do wonder if I'm going to go to the trouble of booking a C-section and then Cupcake is going to have different ideas and arrive early.
I guess with Tobes I could sleep when I was tired so when I was awake I had more energy. Toby determines my waking and sleeping now so it's very different. Thank goodness J is coming home early tonight. He can bathe Tobes and throw something together for dinner. He might even need to pry open my mouth and wiggle it up and down for me because I'm not sure I'll have the energy to chew. But I'll definitely want to eat!
I'm so glad I have J and I'm so glad that he's as sweet as he is. My own mother often feels sorry for J because he has to live with me. A few summers ago we had record highs in England. Imagine 100 degrees with no air conditioning. I was miserable and I remember talking to Mom on the phone and telling her how unbearable it was. She said, 'Oh baby..... I feel sorry for J having to put up with you in that heat.'
Well, I do agree that he can be very kind. We've been fairly lucky this pregnancy though. My insanity and irrationality has been at a minimum. With Tobes I was shouting one minute and laughing the next then bursting into tears. I was also convinced that our next door neighbor was a serial killer... but that's another story. Well, our luck ran out a few nights ago and I had a 'spell'. I've been desperately trying to settle on a list of possible names for the baby and it's driving me crazy. So many of our choices are seen as very strange or just plain ugly. I decided that because I couldn't come up with any suitable names it meant that I was a bad mother and that I would never love this baby as much as I loved Toby... because we chose his name quite easily.
Now, in the calm light of day I can see that the ability to name a child is not necessarily a reflection of the love, or lack of it, felt for that child. I could not see that the other night and proceeded to cry my eyes out with snot streaming, hiccups and all. I think I must've had a new batch of hormones because I was brought to tears the following day by an episode of Home Improvement.
Now, I'm just very, very tired. I've started having Braxton Hicks contractions which seems a little early to me. I do wonder if I'm going to go to the trouble of booking a C-section and then Cupcake is going to have different ideas and arrive early.
posted by K @ 4:11 pm
1 Comments:
At 10:52 am,
K said…
God, I forgot about that! I do remember us all standing in Roppongi on that last night crying and the guys all exchanging looks like 'Oh dear, hormones again.'
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