Warrior Prince(ss)

What a mad few days we've been having. I've been lucky that the morning sickness is getting better at the same time that we've been dealing with J in the hospital. Just two weeks ago I would not have been able to cope with all the activity and late nights. But I'm doing OK.

I've decided we need to find a name for this baby that means 'warrior' or 'fighter' or something like that. If this little one survives all of the illness we've had in the last few weeks and all of the madness of the last few days they are definitely a fighter. I've been so tired and eating so terribly. There's a McDonald's right next to the hospital and we've had that for lunch and dinner the last couple of days. I was virtually force feeding Tobes mango this morning to get something fresh into him.

My 12 week ultrasound is tomorrow and I'll be going on my own, which makes me a little nervous. J will be in the hospital all week and I'd rather not take Tobes and try to control him while having the scan. I have to go into London for the ultrasound because they need to use a special machine for it. I'm going to drive rather than take the train and me driving in London is pretty scary! One way or another it's going to be a very emotional experience. Either I'm going to see our little baby swimming around like a little fish... or I'm not. I do feel optimistic though so I'm hoping for the best.

They're going to do the nuchal fold test at the ultrasound where they check for the possibility of Downs Syndrome, hence the special machine. I never really worried about birth defects too much with Tobes but, after having two miscarriages, it suddenly seems as if anything is possible. So I'm feeling a bit nervous about the test too. I'm sure it will be fine and we'll deal with whatever the results may be. Just wish I had J there holding my hand. I know he wishes he was going to be there too.