Freaking out... again
Terrible time. So heavy and getting miserable with the pregnancy plus all the stress of moving. My biggest nightmare, the thing I find the hardest to deal with, is being debilitated. I hate being unable to do the things I want and/or need to do. Right now is one of those times. There are a million things to be done for the move, the baby, for Toby, just life in general and I'm so big and tired and physically incapable and it's driving me mad.
Even something simple like giving Tobes his bath is difficult. I bought a step so he could get in and out of the bath on his own but it's so uncomfortable to lean over the bath and the energy it takes to get him in the bath, washed, out, in his jammies and finally into bed is almost more than I can deal with. Many days it is more than I can deal with. J works so late that he can't do it and when I rang him just now to see if he could come home a bit earlier and bathe Tobes we ended up having an argument. I feel even worse now than I did before I asked for help.
J is under a ton of stress at work as well as all the moving stuff and the imminent birth of Cupcake. He's doing the best he can but the thing I need the most, for him to be home more, is something that he just can't do. He's taken some time off and having him around for the odd extra day is nice but I need regular, reliable help. I need to know that he can be home by a certain time every night so that I can depend on him to help with the night time routine or make our dinner. So often by the time he gets home the day is basically finished and I'm ready to sleep.
I keep hearing that it actually gets easier once the baby is born. At least then I'll be more physically capable of getting things done. At the moment I feel like a virtual invalid. I even put off using the bathroom because I can't face the stairs. I get out of breath just changing position and I'm having stronger and more painful Braxton Hicks contractions every day. I thought I was going to have to pull over this morning because the pains were getting so bad. I seriously hope this baby comes soon. I'm so ready to just get past the pregnancy phase and get on with things. With that in mind I'm buying some raspberry leag tea and fresh pineapple. Apparently, they're both recommended to bring on labour.
Even something simple like giving Tobes his bath is difficult. I bought a step so he could get in and out of the bath on his own but it's so uncomfortable to lean over the bath and the energy it takes to get him in the bath, washed, out, in his jammies and finally into bed is almost more than I can deal with. Many days it is more than I can deal with. J works so late that he can't do it and when I rang him just now to see if he could come home a bit earlier and bathe Tobes we ended up having an argument. I feel even worse now than I did before I asked for help.
J is under a ton of stress at work as well as all the moving stuff and the imminent birth of Cupcake. He's doing the best he can but the thing I need the most, for him to be home more, is something that he just can't do. He's taken some time off and having him around for the odd extra day is nice but I need regular, reliable help. I need to know that he can be home by a certain time every night so that I can depend on him to help with the night time routine or make our dinner. So often by the time he gets home the day is basically finished and I'm ready to sleep.
I keep hearing that it actually gets easier once the baby is born. At least then I'll be more physically capable of getting things done. At the moment I feel like a virtual invalid. I even put off using the bathroom because I can't face the stairs. I get out of breath just changing position and I'm having stronger and more painful Braxton Hicks contractions every day. I thought I was going to have to pull over this morning because the pains were getting so bad. I seriously hope this baby comes soon. I'm so ready to just get past the pregnancy phase and get on with things. With that in mind I'm buying some raspberry leag tea and fresh pineapple. Apparently, they're both recommended to bring on labour.
posted by K @ 2:16 pm
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