Thought I would entertain you

With some excerpts from my birth lists with Tobes. I say birth lists because I didn't just make a Birth Plan. Oh no. I need my lists and I had lists for everything - a Birth Plan, a list of things for during labour, a hospital list for me after labour, a hospital list for Toby's stuff, a list of things for J to remember while I was in labour, a list of things for J to do while I was in the hospital, etc, etc. The great thing is that I've kept them all and some of it makes very funny reading.

The best bits are from my List for J While in Labour. It has things like:

Remind me to breathe slowly and deeply.
Encourage me to remain upright.
Rub my back, shoulders, feet, etc to help me relax.
Help me stay calm and focused.
Help me find comfortable positions to labour.
Communicate any needs to the midwives, doctors, etc.

All sounds pretty normal. I was going for an active birth and thought that I would have Tobes while either standing or squatting, which is probably exactly what would've happened if things had progressed normally. The bit that's funny is at the end where I have the following:

Encouraging phrases:
‘Let yourself open up’
‘Try to relax into it’
‘Drop your shoulders and let them relax’
‘Think of waves rushing in and crashing on the beach’ (for contractions)

Relaxing images:
Snorkeling in Barbados
Floating in the sea

Probably sounds reasonable unless you happened to see me in labour. Thank God, only J had that special joy. Whenever he tried to use one of my suggested 'encouraging phrases' I would end up screaming 'SHUT UP! SHUT UP!'. For some reason he persisted in telling me to relax my shoulders until I finally said in a very quiet, calm voice 'Don't ever f***ing say that to me again'. He didn't say it again.

The other thing I did in preparation for labour with Tobes was prepare a tape of soothing music. I included things like James Taylor, the Eagles and some Billy Joel. Now I know that AC/DC would have been much more appropriate. I didn't want music to calm me down. I wanted music to rev me up, to match my mood. I remember reading one birth story where the woman sang Meatloaf's 'Bat Out of Hell' at top volume through her contractions. She said it had the perfect rhythm. I can totally understand that.

The thing that helped me the most was breathing and swaying through the contractions. Just standing at the side of the bed, holding on to a pile of pillows and almost dancing through the pain.

Of course, this time will be very different. I'm still planning on the elective C-section but will that keep me from my list-making? No way! I've already started my hospital packing lists for both me and Cupcake and I've started a list for whoever is staying with Tobes while J and I are at the hospital with Toby's schedule, favourite foods, etc. Maybe you think I sound incredibly organised but the truth is that if I didn't make my lists I would forget everything and nothing would get accomplished.