Slightly concerned...

... about myself. We have a lot of depression in our family and I dealt with it personally about five years ago. I'm always on the look-out for the telltale signs and lately I've noticed some changes in myself that have set off the radar. I'm extraordinarily tired yet I've been having trouble sleeping. I've lost my appetite and lost interest in a lot of things I usually enjoy. I've been feeling a bit down and overwhelmed too, but there is an awful lot going on right now.

I'm hoping it's just the pregnancy and the heat and J being away lately. He's in New York now but will be back tomorrow. Regardless, I'm going to start my enforced depression-avoidance routine which includes eating fresh food, forcing myself to get out of the house and trying to move more every day. It makes me feel tired just thinking about it. If I had my way I would sit on the couch eating ice cream Snickers all day. It's enough to depress anyone and not much fun for Tobes.

I did speak to the midwife today but they generally seem to just put everything down to the pregnancy. 'Oh, that's normal.' But I know how I felt with Tobes and I know that this is different. I guess it's not surprising that I would be more tired this time around since I'm chasing after a three year old and not watching Ready, Steady, Cook all day.

The move is definitely getting on top of me. I've just got to reconcile myself to the fact that it's going to be done half-assed. There's no way and I can do the usual thing of organising and sorting and culling like I've done before other moves. We're going to end up taking a lot of rubbish with us. I hate that. My anal tendencies are definitely in revolt but something has got to give and I don't see that there's much flexibility in the pregnancy. I've reached that stage where it's all about the baby. She determines how I feel and what I do. At the moment it ain't great.