So far, so good

Today is the day my period was due. No sign of it and my temp is still up and I did a test today and it was still nice and strong. So far, so good. The next milestone will be Friday. My third pregnancy was lost at 4 weeks and 4 days. Friday will be 4 weeks and 5 days for this pregnancy. Really hope we make it.

Still on the rollercoaster

Temp still good today but AF is due tomorrow and I'm expecting a temp drop. Or at least I was....

Went to Sainsbury's for a few items and decided to buy a cheapie grocery store pregnancy test. These tests are not very sensitive but I thought I would take one, get a definite negative and start preparing for the loss. Got home, did the test and a bright blue line immediately came up in the magic window!! I was shocked. Totally expected another negative.

Now J and I are slightly more optimistic. I am definitely pregnant, which is wonderful, but we don't want to get too attached in case it doesn't last. I'm just going to take it one day at a time and hopefully they'll all string together to make up nine healthy months.

That didn't last long

Did another test this morning with first morning urine (FMU) in the hopes of getting a darker line. It was even lighter than yesterday's positive. My temp is still good but I had a night sweat last night which is never a good sign with me.

I'm trying to stay positive about the fact that this means that we can start testing. I do want to find answers but, at the same time, I'm dreading the snail-like pace of the National Health System and I worry that this whole process could take over our lives. We already have a gorgeous boy and I don't want to neglect Toby in the pursuit of another baby. We/I am going to have to be very careful.

It's positive

[deep breath] It's positive. Very, very light but definitely positive. Oh. My. God.

OK, systems check. How do I feel? Happy? Yes. Relieved? Yes. Terrified? Yes. Boobs aching? Yes. Tired? Yes, but that's nothing new. Nausea? Every once in a while. Anything else? Well, there's a stretchy feeling in my lower abdomen. I'm taking that as a good sign. Imagining the little peanut digging in for a good grip.

Keep digging, sweetheart, and hold on tight. Please. [exhale]